I didn’t choose this creative path, by and large it chose me and it’s a tough business to make money in. Honestly. So when you reach a certain point in your career, as I have now, where I have many years of experiences to look back on as well as a good many years ahead with even more goals I would like to reach, I feel I am finally able to write this blog that’s been 7 years in the making …
I am not going to go too much into my back story other than to say I met the love of my life, moved cities, left a lucrative job, had a baby and started a business pretty much within 18 months of each other. Following that we had a second child 17 months later. My life was a huge big, amazing, adventurous mess! I came to realise that raising babies and raising a business are quite similar, but doing the two together takes balls of steel. Guess what? I figured out that I have those! And they didn’t come without a huge learning curve including many born and lost relationships along the way.
I am so enormously grateful to my family and friends who supported me and understood my need to hustle and buckle down. I’m so thankful to those who listened to me me when I stumbled, fell, bruised and I cried during the initiation of motherhood and while my start up business teethed and grew. I’m blessed to have grown a business and client base who understand the value of what I offer and especially those who have grown with me – you guys are all awesome! I love and appreciate each and every one of you … But this blog is not about them.
This blog is about an evolving lesson I have learned from one person. One person who professed to, but in fact did NOT support me when they should have. Yes, it was just one person. One person who knew better. One person who had cutting words. One person who should have known better. One person who I had to get over in so many ways … This person was in the fortunate position where they earned a fair income including during their maternity leave. They were the ‘life of the party’, they were the planner and the organiser of our group. I was the one who didn’t go to every play date or say yes to every invitation because I was trying to raise my baby and my business. It would have been easy to say yes to everything, but I chose to use my daylight hours to build my business. I chose to not come back from an afternoon of cupcakes, playdates and champagne and try to fit in the afternoons work I’d lost into an even later night than usual. I was already working evenings and I had a baby girl and a little boy who needed a lot of my attention as it was. I chose to have a full days work so I didn’t have to work both days and both nights of my weekend.
I was openly condemned for it, ostracised and mocked for it. It was nasty. It was hurtful. It’s something I have never forgotten and it’s something I had to actively ‘get over’. I realise, now, that people will only understand any given idea or situation from their own level of perception. I realised I need to run my business and my life the way it works for me, not for anyone else, with little tolerance for other peoples projections or stupid shit. My business, my family and I will evolve as our needs and lives change, and that’s the goal isn’t it?
There are so many theories about how to get ‘there’, make money, make a difference, work hard, take breaks, don’t burn out, keep up your momentum, keep giving … it’s all very confusing and frustrating at times, and as anyone growing their own business will tell you, the hustle and growing pains don’t ever stop. I think there will always be times where I need to just keep my head down and truly push, shove and bulldoze my way forward. Also there will be times I need to just chill. Be in solitude and give myself some brain space.
The point is that it’s a decision nobody else can make but me. And if you don’t appreciate my hustle then kindly get out of my way!