SEEING WITH NEW EYES

In the wake of losing someone special to me I am seeing a few things from a whole new perspective … I am revelling in spending time, taking moments and making memories. While I was looking for photos for my grans funeral pamphlet it hit me hard that I don’t have ANY recent photos of me and my mom. I don’t have any recent photos, of me or my siblings, as grown up people, with our parents. WHAT?!

I have felt this shift happening in myself for a while … at first it was this struggle, this inner fight to gain clarity and perspective on how and whom I invest my time and my emotions in and to start to say no to those people and things I don’t want in my life. And with the recent passing of my gran there has been a click, a shift, a conscious decision and realisation that THIS is all we get. Now. THESE people. THIS life. THIS TIME. That. Is. ALL! So spend this time well. You will never get it back. And that doesn’t translate into being busy … no, not at all … today I spent 90% of my day just watching my kids play together, in their own sibling world drifting from one imagined world to another. Being themselves. Working out their differences. Enjoying taking turns leading and following each others scenarios and games. I watched. I brought them food. Then I just took them in. THIS is what I need more of. And THIS is what I want to help other people capture. I want the moms who hire me to photograph their families to have REAL moments in between the posed ones – a wrinkled nose, a podgy little hand holding theirs, a spilled bowl of cereal or even a tantrum. It’s life. It’s YOUR life. it’s what YOU get. And it’s perfect in every single imperfection. Don’t take it for granted. Ever.

The other day, the day after the funeral, my kids and I drove out to my Godparents farm to spend time with Aunty Caz and my mom. She happens to be my mom’s lifelong BFF and basically my other mother. We just spent time being together, talking and enjoying each others company. It was simple and it was awesome to just be together. The innocence of the kids and the wisdom of these women all mixed up just made for a warm and fuzzy afternoon … and I loved it. I want to do more of this. I want my kids to grow up with this kind of breathing room for their souls, spent with people who genuinely love them for just being themselves …